One Night Stands and Child Support

 LAWS OF THE GAME – WITH JOPLIN HIGGINS

EVEN for parents who have been in a loving stable relationship, when things breakdown parenting can get complicated, but becoming a parent after a one-night stand has it’s own set of issues.

Until the child is born the father has no rights over the foetus, but once the child is born he will have parental responsibilities.

Take the Test

The first step we’d recommend to the father is to have a DNA test. It’s not an insult to have a DNA test, it’s just due diligence.

There are situations where the guy has carried on thinking he was the father, paid child support and been a parent to the child, only to later find out the child is not theirs. This is both soul destroying for the father and child.

It is not just the financial cost, but the cost of forming a genuine bond with the child that they may then have no rights to have a relationship with anymore.

A DNA test is usually done with a parenting court order for both parties to attend and it’s not about upsetting either party, it is appropriate to ask for the test from the outset.

Make a Plan

The next step is to have a parenting plan which sets out how the couple have agreed to parent the child. A parenting plan does not have to go through court, it can be a simple process where it is drafted by solicitors.

It is important to have the plan to make the arrangements clear from the outset and if things do change the court does look at the parenting plan and can give it weight.

Initially the father can expect to have age appropriate time with the newborn baby, you are not going to have every second weekend, but you may have an hour or two a few times a week.

Short but regular time is the most appropriate way to form the bond.

While the court recognises the bond with the father is equally important it also recognises that bond will develop differently.

There will be several parenting plans that change as the child gets older, so it’s important both parties are flexible.

The first plan might be until the child is one year of age, the second might be until the child is two and a half and then the court looks at overnight stays with the father and then by the time the child is five the father is having significant time with the child and that’s what you’re building up to.

While it may not feel fair for the father not to have more access in the early stages, it’s actually not about the parent, it’s about the child and what is age appropriate.

It is even more difficult for parents who are together and then separate when the child is young, because the father goes from having unfettered access to often really restricted access, which is hard.

If the child is a result of a one night stand it is really important to begin to build trust with the other parent and establish a good relationship to co-parent the child, which is hard with someone they don’t necessarily know.

If the couple move in together, before or after the child is born, it can be considered a de facto relationship and there can be ramifications for property and assets from that moment. Again, in these circumstances, have a written agreement in place stipulating what the arrangement is, before you move in.

 

Child Support – Get on and Get it Done

When people first separate both parents should contact the Child Support Agency (CSA) and the sooner you do it the better.

You can enter into a private arrangement for child support and inform the CSA and the CSA will consider this arrangement.

Child support is calculated on the amount of money both parties earn. It also takes into account how many nights both parties spend with the child. It’s important to understand that the family law process and child support process don’t go hand in hand.

The court won’t make orders to simply reduce your CSA; all arrangements should be child focused and not unduly create hardship on the child.

There is a cut off for backdating of payment, so the sooner the matter is sorted the better.

Laws of the Game – with Joplin Higgins is a regular advertorial column with scone.com.au.